Chew Piin Huann 丘品焕

Overwhelming. And this time it overwhelms in the soft side. In a world that rewards big achievements and hoo-ha's and that doesn't value small things, buying a dinner for someone, coming over to someone's place to meet him/her, remembering someone's birthday and actually do something, buy a little gift, bring over a piece of cake, sending gratitude or calling someone for gratitude, all of these looked so unimportant and trivial, but they are so important. Remember, at the end of the day, true love and care are everything. Everything else is secondary. No competition, Clear cut and outright defeat. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.  Life doesn't need to be so hard.  The end goal is to have both. It is equally important to live life and to save the world. And it is scientifically, mathematically and clearly doable to do both.  "At the end of my life, I will never miss working for more hours, I will never miss writing one more passage, I will

10 months. Enough of shits. If you ask someone who is currently studying a degree to quit college, he/she will freak out. If you ask someone to go nuts and finish their money travelling the world before coming back to work, he/she thinks that you are insane. If you ask someone to put failures instead of achievements in resume, he/she thinks what the hell are you thinking. If you ask someone to do business without working experience, he/she laughs at you thinking that you will fail soon. Too funny. Too many people would advise you to do A and B and C. Too many disagreed with unorthodox methods and went on to tell you that "This is not the right way. You should do it like D and E." And this is a perfect match for the term coined by Tim Urban, "Tribalism". Fear and anxiety are such real things that stop humans from conquering so many wonders.  The real way to live life is to determine 2-3 knife-tipping indicators and act with the existenc

*If stress is the answer for not doing things, then success will never come to you. If give up is the answer, then don't have a goal in life, you won't achieve it. *Faith is very fair to those who worked hard. *Do not afraid of failure, just be afraid that after you have failed for the first time, you don't believe that success will come anymore. *There are millions of reasons that convince you to not to do a thing, but if you found one reason to do it, go for it, because you heart tells you to do so. *The more you look down at me, the more that I want to prove to you that I can. *Don't worry, nothing cannot be solved and through mistakes we learn and grow the most. Cheers! Tonnes and tonnes of challenges and problems exist in life, and the true value of life is to go through them and solve them. *GIP is not for talent gap filling, it's meant for the EP's, it is meant for leadership. We must do it, we must drive it no matter what.

How funny it is to see the 3-year-ago me using the first person angle of the today-me. In other words, see the past retrospectively using hindsight. There were many shameful things to reflect upon. Like I was extremely (the word 'extremely' is still an understated adjective to describe, in my opinion) ignorant about the importance of money. I talked shits like 'Don't think about money, the main thing about travelling is to open your world view'. And I took things like 'values', 'happiness', 'learning', 'relevance' as some magical holy sacred Pandoras created by Jesus. I wanted to be the best Buddha that never offend anyone. I clung on every single unimportant and redundant fine details like a koala bear yet I easily over theorised & generalised complicated stuffs into empty big concepts that didn't help but made things more intertwining and sticky. I only thought the big concepts/theories about a plan , and its first step, b

Life is cyclical. 以前单纯地认为精神就是一切，只要有信念， 努力奋不顾身地去争取，就一定会得到 That's a real pain at the same time real joy, the blissful ignorance of fighting for things that seem impossible yet painful to give up on. 后来一直失败，人家开始跟你讲你这个做错了，那个应该那样做 开始研究所有的‘怎样’和‘如何’ 但所有的‘怎样’和‘如何’都没用解决问题的根本 最后才发现原来精神和信念才是最根本的元素 绕了一大圈，又回到同样的原点，只是这一次起跑的人不在是同一个以前的我了。 On a macro level every single thing and every single people is the same. 要用macro level的精神看世界。 You control every single piece of things that happened to you. It's weird to see how people who are in same age of mine, people who we used to do the same thing, are now doing entirely different things. I view the things that they do as childish, but they view the things that  I am doing stupid too. It's scary to see that how dynamic life is.

"Just go ahead and do what you want to do, we will be your back up." You have no idea how much this little sentence means to me. It means the whole world to me, it means your whole world to me, it means you are risking your life to do something for me. It means that when I was standing on a cliff, standing beside a hundred-metered deep pool, feeling that immense fear of dying, feeling hopeless, feeling total darkness, but you are saying that:"Dont worry, whatever happened I will save you. I will make sure you don't die, I will make sure that you will be safe, I will make sure that you will be okay." Thanks Pua for sending me home all the way from KL when my leg was infected seriously. Thanks Kae Sen for doing the same when I have no car to go back. Thanks How for offering me money to buy a new laptop when mine was stolen (Which idiot would fucking do that?) Thanks Lk for being the one that fucking care about all of us as if our lives are even more import

Mind blown. Fucking mind-blowing. Intellectual orgasm just happened. I can barely withstand the adrenaline and dopamine flowing in my body now. James Clear, Mark Manson, Richard Koch, Oliver Emberton, Tim Urban, Elon Musk. The things that I have learnt in the past 6 months completely outweigh my 16 years of learning through formal education. Unstoppable, unbreakable. I shall exercise mild control now, but explosions are inevitable :P It's gonna happened soon, very soon.

Two years and half of a month. 741 days of struggles, the end. I want to, and I have to thank a few persons who have given me life-saving helping hands throughout these two years. My Caregroup's teammates, my parents, Ms. Jennifer Lee, Mr. James Clear, Mr. Richard Koch, Mr. Mark Manson, Mr. Tim Urban, all the dedicated artists on U Can U Bibi, and all the cute faces whom I have met in Indo-China last summer. Thank you for your talismanic wisdom and remarkable teachings that aided me through my darkest days, which I couldn't imagine where would I be if I have not ran into all of you. I struggled the awful. I tussled the horrendous. I battled the arduous. I sipped the unorthodox. I voiced the paradoxical. I embraced the inferior. I saw the wider. I befriend adversity. I shunt platitude and preach consistency. And I am home. I am back, back to a paradigm which is similar to that of 5 years ago. But it is no longer similar. It had escalated. It had escalated to a whol

一直来都以为要锻炼肌肉都是要吃高蛋白低碳水化合物的饮食，但今天发现到这是完全错误的观念。 顿时发现原来连锻炼肌肉也和做事的原理一样，要慢慢来，比较快。 如果硬要拔苗助长，只会弄巧反拙。 这让我想起一位读工程系朋友跟我说的“除非有外在元素，能源都是永远呆在它最原始的状态”，与牛顿第一法则有点相似的原理 还有之前学到的，觉得非常不可思议的帕雷托法则(80/20)。 那么多年的科学与逻辑性教育让我不怎么相信上帝的存在， 但有一位信奉基督教的朋友非常不屑地谴责我说：“只是你还没遇到吧了。” 呵呵，如果上帝真的存在的话，我觉得他真的好好，他把这世界编织地那么从容，那么温柔。 所有事情，无论是做事，与人相处，爱情，事业，学习，追求成就，甚至是锻炼肌肉，都是要从容地进行。 我们只需做最重要的20%罢了，activation energy不是蛮力，它是四两拨千斤。 这是上帝的宽容与智慧，是世界的美妙与和谐。 很喜欢和妈妈聊关于健康饮食所需的材料和烹饪方法，以前她煮菜都不怎么健康，但现在的她真的是不可同日而语，好厉害。 以前每当周边事情都忽然之间变得非常顺遂时，会开始担心噩耗的来临。 但现在不同了，我知道，顺流固然美好，但逆流而上一样精彩。

第734天。 这两年我最常听到的话是“哎呀，是你想太多啦”，“不要把东西复杂化”，“做就是了”。 我知道所有说这些话的人都是有好心的出发点，但好心不是天山雪莲，不是灵丹妙药 你好心把钱丢给一个失去家人痛不欲生的人，你好心帮一个有能力自己完成事情的残疾人完成他的事，这些“好心”还真的令人汗颜。 这种不经思索，未经深入探讨的“好心”，在某种程度上比干坏事还更严重。 我开始在想，到底是不是二十一世纪的时代改变，让那么多人失去了深入思索的能力，还是纯粹只是身边的人没有经历我所经历的。 面对问题时，东方人自然的会说：”哎呀，没事啦。”，以作安慰之用途。 站在问题面前搏斗，最有效的，不是安慰，而是接受，承认。承认它的存在，接受它的强大，与之搏斗。 发生问题时，西方人自然的会说："I feel sorry for you." 问题找上了你，根本无需觉得可悲，问题是成长前的黄昏。 而那成长，将会是天空中最闪亮的星。 一直以为身边仍是一片漆黑，但星星早已发亮。

我爸媽出生平凡，甚至可以說是沒什麼好身世。 媽媽是一家七口的長女，從小就得背負很多很多照顧家庭的責任，每次都聽她說小時候就學會煮哪道菜和縫紉衣服的故事，總覺得就是那些責任讓她沒辦法接受到更好更高的教育。 爸爸一出生就被父母遺棄，被我阿嬤領養，可以想像那樣的身世有多麼的困難。爸爸做過好多好多份工作，從派送報紙的，到送貨的，賣保險的。 他們倆都在中學後就停止接受教育了，他們在人生中沒完成什麼很偉大很成功的事，與社會上所謂的成功人士如醫生律師也掛不上邊，就連在社會最前端的英文和科技方面也不怎麼樣，爸爸更是完全不諳英文，就連國語也是“一塊塊”的。 以前的我覺得我們家是屬於中產階級，但後來我們家拮据到把車子房子都給賣了，才發現我們連中產階級都不是。 這樣的身世和背景，給一些人或許早就渾渾噩噩過餘生，甚至是結束了生命。 但我爸媽沒有。 我真的不知道他們是怎麼樣撐過來的。 總覺得他們真的真的好厲害，是出於泥而不染，出類拔萃的典範。 縱使沒有學歷，他們有的是人文素養，崇高的道德價值觀，還有頑強的人生態度。 每次聽到哪一個阿姨叔叔伯伯姑姑的孩子的一大堆故事，從叛逆，到亂花錢，輟學，染上惡習等等，我都覺得：“誒，怎麼我跟他們完全不同？” 因為有那麼好的你們，才有今天的我。 你們給的，是最好的身教。 感謝這兩年的香港與台灣之旅，讓我重新認識你們，發現了你們一些一直以來都被我忽略的好，也發現了你們一些我想要改變的壞習慣。 好喜歡媽媽那一份對所有小事都好有耐心好愛的心，好愛爸爸那超級高的情商。 我還有好多好多事情要和你們一起完成。 我還要教你們英文，還要教會你們用電腦。 我還要向媽媽學習煮菜，我還要聽爸爸說很多很多故事。 我還有好多好多事情要和你們一起完成。

I have missed out too many things. I missed attending important events of important people. I missed enjoying wonderful moments with the loved ones. I lost the opportunity to connect deeply with great people, I lost the chance to love and to be loved. I feared instead of cheering. I pushed instead of encouraging. I avoided instead of learning. I ran the wrong way, being oblivious that there is just another way beside me. If today were the last day of your life, will you still do what you are about to do today?

If today were the last day of your life, will you still do what you about to do today? When the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I have to change something. If today were the last day of my life, I shall throw away all negative thoughts, no matter how big they are. I shall look at the positive, the wonderful, the kind, the happy. Letting go could be painful. But there lies the blessing in disguise. I shall simplify. I shall be simple. I shall focus. And then, cherish, run, persist, go. I shall enjoy the hardest as the simplest.

小时候看到某某人有某某强项，就觉得那某某人好厉害 后来发现其实某某人只是比我们更努力，其实只要坚定坚持，我们都可以当某某人。 年少时总爱更一些现实派朋友争论到底努力是不是一定会成功 每一次都要争得欲罢不休，甚至吵得面红耳赤 现在发现成功与否根本就不是人生的重点 或许到我们死的那一天也没成功 但没关系，因为人生如果能过得璀璨就已足够。 前几年发现自己在某方面总能给别人深入的意见与建议，当时以为自己真的有些斤两 现在发现其实这是一个百花齐放，各有各精彩的世界 我能给予意见，也只是因为自己刚好遇见在哪方面稍逊的人罢了 而那些人肯定也有很多比我更好能给予我意见的人。 人生，循序渐进就好 继续努力，一步一脚印。

曾经以为能够上报上电视的人多厉害，后来发现他们只是媒体商业的棋子。 曾经以为情侣分手甚至离婚是作茧自缚，后来发现那是复杂问题所逼出来的自暴自弃。 曾经以为所有的背叛是一方的作恶多端，后来发现那是能者居之法则的因果。 曾经以为热血与信心能跨越一切，后来发现热血与信心是最容易褪色的东西。 曾经以为世界是由真理顽强地构造和支配着，后来发现真理是人所定夺的。 所有的曾经以为还是会被某些傻子坚信着，所有的曾经以为还是会被某些痞子敲打着。 退一步看全局才是唯一对策，放下自尊勇敢认输才是唯一出路。 或许在这个真心最不值钱的年代，真心是最值钱的。 Being all-rounded, being diverse, being a jack of all trades is no longer a choice. Putting all effort and doing everything you can to pump up self-awareness is no longer a trivial priority. They are survival necessity. See things in the most unexpected perspective brings you the most unexpected outcome. This is self-management. This is self-lead. This is self-responbility towards your own life. The best way to prevent failure is to keep waking up from every single failure. Keep moving, just keep fucking moving. Just fail, just feel the pain of life, feel both the joy and the pain, feel them strongly. "I hope that you fall in love, and hurt so bad." Live a life, don't live success. L

一直想，一直想，到底是为什么，为什么事情会演变成这样。朋友问说5年前的你去了哪？ 想了很久很久，还真的有点不服气为什么我需要走这些别人不用走的委屈路，或许这就是热血的代价，横冲直撞需要付出的因果 一直都很努力，很努力。直到发现努力解决不到某些瓶颈，就拼了命盲目地去找寻解决瓶颈的方法 相比一些人一早就投降去投向平凡的怀抱，我坚持了好久。那份固执的确吃了超多的苦头，但我觉得这是修炼必经的阶段，平衡是千疮百孔，披荆斩棘的甜蜜结局 之前一直都有觉得浪费了很多很多时间，但这是一个选择，一个勇敢面对的选择，那两年的坚持，可能比前几年的高歌更珍贵。少了那两年，瓶颈根本就无法突破，结果将会是浑浑噩噩地过余生。 讲了N次的“最后一次”，这次还真的不知道是不是又一个“最后一次”，但是可以肯定的是，这一次，不管好坏，我都会踏出去。 看从前，从前十分美好，从前是纯朴的正面回忆。 看过去，过去非常重要，过去给现在带来强大能量。 看现在，现在才是最好，现在是机会，现在是希望。 珍惜现在，把握现在，活在现在。 我们都有那个努力生活的能力，我们不需要靠噩耗来提醒我们生命的价值，没那个必要。不断重新来过是生命最幸福的事。

July 2014, until today. It has been a really tough 2-year. Everyday itself is a challenge. Constantly questioning myself on what I should do. Constantly conflicting what I want and what I do.  Constantly saying "What if, what if". Constantly refusing to give up, and constantly giving up. Constantly frustrated. Constantly fear. And constantly lost. Very lost. Sometimes I suspect myself getting mental illness. Sometimes I think they are just self-discovery conflicts. When I said I am searching for life purpose, people laughed. When I said I am lost, people thought I think too much. When things weren't delivered, I seriously hope I would have a choice, a choice to be able to deliver it. Listen. Listen to who you are. Listen to what you want. Listen to only yourself. No 'if', no 'but'. Start from zero.

I need to write down my feelings before I forget them (Which it often happens). And I am still a fluffy boy as who I was few years ago though I have put a lot of hard work in improving my weaknesses. I have counted very carefully, this is my 34th (Wtf) AIESEC Conference, including all big and small-scaled conference-styled events. And yet I still had the very similar kind of strong feelings at the end of the conference. AIESEC in UPM has always been a very special place for me, not only because I have a lot of dumbass friends who came from this LC, but because of the fate and connection I had towards this LC. Two years ago I had a very wonderful facilitating experience, and two years later I am here again. Looking at the changes on the juniors two years ago to who they are today, Veronica, Eric, Han Hoong, Han Chong, Hsio May, Ruo Ni, Zi Ying, Zhi Qian. Never know that the LLDS 2 years ago was such impactful and memorable to them until they mentioned it. It just simply proved the

1) 选择做你能力所及的事，最多高一点点。如果知道你的能力最好，但如果多番考量后你还是不知道你的能力符不符合，有太多不确定变数，不知道你能不能做到（世事无绝对），做罢了。 2) 设定一个Minimum, 一个可以交代的Minimum。只要不是犯法，不是倾家荡产，不是身败名裂。不到痛不欲生，请别放弃，不是天塌下来，请继续坚持! 3) 如果发现不如预期般达标，退一步，降低目标。如果没选择不能降低外在目标，就告诉自己不要紧，降低内心目标。外在目标达不到，不要太在意，从失败中学习，还有下次，你只会变得更好。 4) 花时间在玩乐享受上。 5) 除去基本花费后(Minimum)，把所有钱都花掉。 6) 退一步，不要想“更好”，更不要想“最好”，做你能做得出来的。做罢了! 7) 勇敢去输的人才是真正的赢家。输赢真的不重要，前进最重要，你只会变得更好，更棒。 全攻只会让你失守，太快只会让你迷茫。 做你能做的，一定要前进着地尝试，行动了才知道，失败也不要紧。 有攻有守，慢一点，比较快！ 只要还是活着，就有希望。 做罢了啦，失败真的不用紧的啦。

Social enterprise, non-profit, startups, business, languages, performing arts, family, friends, relationships, nice and kind people, exercise, workout sports, mind games, chess, cards games, mahjong, singing, music, photography, gaming, movies, designing, arts, history, mathematics, economics, marketing, travelling, tourism, technology, programming, drawing, cooking. Life is so so long thus giving a lot of both positive and negative possibilities. But it is because of its infinity, we are always open to success and results as long as there are effort, hard work, determination and beliefs. All negative possibilities will be tackled and overcome over the long period of time. That is the blessing given by the creator of this world. And isn't that the existence of challenges (the negative possibilities, the struggles, the possibilities to fail, the shits) making life so interesting? Every day and every step itself is a strategic game that you should enjoy of using your strengths an

"You are the average of the 5 people that you interact with the most." 这句话曾经让我非常地挣扎。 年少时我们很容易认定对方是一生一世的朋友，把友谊万岁Friendship Forever挂在嘴边，因为那时的我们并不复杂，那时的我们简单，一个真心的陪伴，一句冲口而出的鼓励和安慰，我们就觉得那是多么幸运能遇见这一群人啊。就算有时争吵，有时嘲笑，有时甚至侮辱，有时甚至诋毁，我们还是不以为意，像粉笔字一下抹得一干二净。 我当初挣扎的原因，是因为无法接受。我无法接受去“选择”朋友。我无法接受去用条件，能力，甚至是社会地位去排列我的朋友，然后“技巧性”地去把我的时间花在某一些比较“有价值”的朋友身上。对当时纯真的我来说，几乎每个朋友都是有价值的，虽然入世未深的我不懂那些价值是什么，但我只坚信那些友情是真的，因为我可以很真心的感受到。 然而这句话却不断地重复，从书本上，从社交媒体上，从别人口中，从课程上，甚至从成功人士口中里出现。我开始被动摇，变得懒得参与一些我认为比较少“价值”和谈话多数没“营养”的朋友，变得厌倦与它们说话，觉得应该把宝贵和非常“有限”的时间（当时的我在大学参加了太多项活动，而且时间管理还蛮烂的）留给自己认为更有“价值”的朋友身上。表面说是忙，但其实是没把重心放在他们身上，因为你在乎的人，就算再忙你也会为他们抽出时间。 当时就会比较，认为一些朋友比较上进，比较厉害，比较有大志，比较有才能，比较有实力，比较“成功”，与他们多相处才能学习更多，才能变得更好，而不符合“标准”的那些朋友，就久久一次给个面子吧。虽然内心还是不断的提醒当初自己的想法，提醒自己说每个朋友只要是真心都是有价值的，还是不断地跟自己说不应该选择朋友，还是认为不应该“放弃”那些自己认为比较没价值的朋友，但时间是有限的固定性变数（或者它根本不是变数），如果能够花多点时间在“有价值”的朋友身上更好。 我被现实给打败了。 最近的我终于醒了。 有人说朋友不必选最好的，但一定要选价值观相近的。对，朋友从来就不应该是“选最好的”，但其实价值观也不需要是相近的，甚至它们可以是对立的! 其实我们在人生中最需要的，是愿意花时间去了解你价值观，去倾听你内心心灵的朋友。你们可以截然不同，你们可以互

脑里时不时都会浮现上幼稚园的小时候。 那时候家里穷，买不起车，家里只有一辆货车给爸爸去载货。 家里剩下的，就只有一辆脚踏车。 每天中午，妈妈会帮我穿好校服，然后就骑脚踏车载我去上幼稚园。 幼稚园离家里其实不远，但顶着一头中午的太阳骑着那脚踏车，说不辛苦都假。 记得妈妈每一天都会用一条捷径，那捷径非常偏僻，是一条没有铺上泊油的“石头路”，每次我坐在后头都会很抖，但走那段路却是最兴奋开心的，因为会抓着妈妈的背后然后夸张地大喊大叫。 后来，家里买得起汽车了，就再也没有坐上妈妈骑的脚踏车上学了。 如今妈妈也老得骑不动脚踏车了吧，但总是非常非常怀念那段朴素的日子，那个依靠在妈妈背后温暖又安全的感觉。 爸爸妈妈，你们可不可以不要变老? 如果有时光机，我真的好想回去看你们三四十来岁的模样，因为真的很想念当时那么努力照顾我的你们，那个充满爱，很努力生活的你们。 最感动，最怀念，最珍贵的，从来都不是金钱，不是物质，不是知识，不是大道理 是耐心，是真情，是爱，是陪伴。

归零。 当你重新发现自己想要的时候，你只想奋不顾身地冲向它。 你突然感觉到：诶，我能够呼吸了耶！ 负能量让你看清你的模样，正能量让你看到希望。 一个人的欢喜跟悲伤，它是要一比一的。 如果那个比例出现误差的话，你就是生病了。 两者需要平衡。给自己希望是对的，但千万不要硬挤开负能量。 没关系的啦！做原本的自己就好。

2016's Resolution: - Forgive the past - Appreciate myself that "I am great" - Accept my weaknesses for who I am   - Celebrate little success no matter how small it is - Take failure as it is - Recall and restore passion to do greater good to the world - When problems come, think like a 8-year-old kid - Become who I used to be, with passion to do what I want to do, with passion to do good to the world, with love and care towards others

What makes up success? First, a goal. A clear and ambitious goal. Self-explanatory. Second, powerful passion and determination.  What makes up passion? Something that you love to do. Something that you will be extremely and extraordinarily happy to do. But what kinds of things give you those feelings? a) Money. Doing that something will bring you money. Because it is the fundamental survival needs under Maslow. b) Learning. Doing that something brings you huge learning, it can be a larger happiness than money. c) Impact. Doing that something means you are bringing impact, contributing towards something bigger than yourself, changing something. And the magnitude of these three elements must be larger or at least equivalent to your capability or the amount of effort that you are putting it. Or else the non-equivalence will only cause sorrow and disappointment. However, at the end of the day it's your choice. You can 'create' passion and even 'magnify' pa

And here comes to the end of this confusing, long-winded, negative, dramatic story full of ups and downs. He fell into his lowest point in life after a series of failure. He suffered serious anxiety and he self-blamed everyday. He realised his problem and started letting go of his past. He recalled his determination and passion. He thought he had recovered fully until he encountered another huge challenging test which pushed him to his edge. He breakthrough one last final bottleneck, which is to appreciate himself as someone great, and start doing things step by step slowly. He had finally finally recovered.  Someone said success comes from the formula below: Goal  (Clear & ambitious)  +  Determination/Passion  (Powerful)  +  Hope/Belief  (Positive & Strong)  +  Backup Plan/Alternative (Safe)  He might not have a very clear goal now as there are too many uncertainties, too many crossroads, too many choices and options. But all of these required

He didn't handle all those huge commitments and promises well. He sought for some external help, he read some articles and books, but still they weren't sorted out. He ran to Cambodia once again. The role wasn't very challenging if he was who he was in the past. But this time he went there with great pressures and all those backlogged he didn't finish/achieve (But he supposed to). Although his dad told him that worries are the biggest enemy for human being, he still can't absorb it well, because his subconscious mind wasn't changed. The smallest obstacle he faced in Cambodia (Eg: Cant mingle well with extroverts, can't connect well with the team, can't come out ideas in choreographing dances) gave him great pressure and made him felt that he is useless again. Luckily there were still some really kind people who gave him some love and care. He gained inspirations there. The most powerful one would be from his chairperson, whom told him that: "I

While he was in Yangon, he received a message and a call. An opportunity came and he was invited to be back to AIESEC again. He was extremely excited for a big challenge again, but at the same time he fell into the mindset of "200-300% effort" again. As usual, when he had something on his to-do list, that thing will automatically branched out into 200-300 things, because his thoughts would ask him to put 200-300% effort to achieve a 200-300% results, anything less than that weren't tolerable at all. He not only became a perfectionist, but he became so afraid of failures. He  had totally forgotten the 20-80 principle. The only thing in his mind was to do more and more and more then only he can achieve more and more and more. He started those stressful and pressuring thoughts again when he was in his last stop at Laos, thinking and fearing on all the 200-300% things that he has to do in his mind. So he accepted the invitation, and at the same time he got the momentum a

A support meeting group saved him. They noticed that he was so abnormal and seemed like having deep troubles. They bombarded him a lot of questions. "Have you let go of your past failures?" "When was the last time you truly felt happy?" He realised he had never let go of his past. He grudged them so hard. His limbs and arms were all tied tightly with the past, that's why he hardly make a move. Even just one step forward was extremely difficult for him. He wanted to achieve, not because that he wanted it, but because of his past failures. He wanted to compensate, he wanted to redeem. He never wanted to strive for the future, the only motivation for him is to strive for the past. He never accepted his past failures and say "Yes they are failures and they are part of who I am today. So let's start the fresh chapter today.". The meeting struck him hard. He realised the root cause now finally. But he only knew the root cause, not the strategies or

There was this boy. He failed his academic thesis, with a grade F, simply because he didn't submit anything. He failed to lead a huge group of people in getting results that they wanted. They ran blindly to nowhere with blurred directions. Also, he was terrible in fulfilling his commitments with his friends and family. But the worst thing was, he always bore things on his shoulders and unintentionally magnified many small mistakes as his faults. The feeling was so sucky. The feeling of failing was so horrible, so scary, so overwhelming. He told himself, he cannot fail anymore. He wanted success, he wanted to prove to the whole world how great he is. He became very obsessive and he craved for success crazily. He set very high goals. He wanted to get dean list results in the last 2 semesters. He kept telling himself he must go back and hold a bigger role, take a bigger responsibility, lead a bigger team to achieve a bigger goal. He started drafting all silly personal timetable a